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I am writing a covering letter for an internship, but I am having a hard time on a sentence. It seems to me that something is wrong, but I can't figure what it is.

I have changed 1 or 2 things, for privacy purpose. Please, act like it was the original version!

I have seen on your website that your activities go from bread testing to wireless cake. I am keen to work in such fields later.

This seems very odd to me. The last sentence is both too short and too... disharmonious?

What I want to say is that I want to "test bread" and work in "wireless cake" when my studies will be over. That could even be at the end of the internship if everything went well.

Could you propose me a better way to say this?

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    I'm not sure quite what your intent is, but the word 'later' just leaves me wondering… 'later than what?' Tomorrow? After your exams? In 6 years' time when you've finished your doctorate? Jul 1, 2015 at 9:12
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    I edited my question to make it clearer.
    – Pouchyyy
    Jul 1, 2015 at 9:36
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    For the latter part, I'd suggest I'm looking forward to working in these fields after graduation or I intend to pursue my interest in these fields after graduation. Jul 1, 2015 at 10:16
  • @DamkerngT., what have we said about answering in comments? Sep 24, 2015 at 16:34
  • Thanks @MrTheWalrus (and everyone who upvoted my comment)! At least I can be sure that I got the latter sentence right. However! The reason that stopped me from posting that as an answer was because it would be half an answer. (It's good that I can review my old comments when I'd already forgotten about it, so it's fresh to me right now.) ... Sep 24, 2015 at 16:50

3 Answers 3

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(Being very reluctant to post this as an answer, I finally decide to post it, even though it may not flow well or goes well with the surrounding sentences in your cover letter.)

Here are your sentences:

I have seen on your website that your activities go from bread testing to wireless cake. I am keen to work in such fields later.

Let me focus only on the part you asked in the title: How to write “I want to work in such fields later” in a formal way. Here are a couple of good alternatives, in my opinion:

  • I am looking forward to working in these fields after graduation.
  • I intend to pursue my interest in these fields after graduation.
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I believe a better phrasing of the first sentence (the second being ably answered already) would be:

I have seen on your website that your work involves bread testing and using wireless cake.

or:

I see from your website that you do bread testing and work with wireless cake.

As written, you're treating the two items as ends of a range ('go from X to Y'), but in the second sentence you're considering them as discrete fields. Also, 'activities' just doesn't seem like the right word to use here - it's too broad. 'Work', or 'projects', as appropriate, is probably better.

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I have seen on your website that your activities go from bread testing to wireless cake. I am keen to work in such fields later.

How about replacing the second sentence with something like:

I have a keen interest in such matters, and intend to pursue a career related to them.

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