2 used bold instead of ALL CAPS
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Original:

I would like to thank my supervisor X [...]. To a large extent, it is to his credit that I found my way into the field of Y and I am very grateful for it.

I would like to thank my supervisor X [...]. To a large extent, it is DUE to his MENTORING that I found my way into the field of Y and I am very grateful for HIS ENCOURAGEMENT.Revision:

I would like to thank my supervisor X [...]. To a large extent, it is due to his mentoring that I found my way into the field of Y and I am very grateful for his encouragement.

Not sure this is better, but it is what I would say.

I would like to thank my supervisor X [...]. To a large extent, it is to his credit that I found my way into the field of Y and I am very grateful for it.

I would like to thank my supervisor X [...]. To a large extent, it is DUE to his MENTORING that I found my way into the field of Y and I am very grateful for HIS ENCOURAGEMENT.

Not sure this is better, but it is what I would say.

Original:

I would like to thank my supervisor X [...]. To a large extent, it is to his credit that I found my way into the field of Y and I am very grateful for it.

Revision:

I would like to thank my supervisor X [...]. To a large extent, it is due to his mentoring that I found my way into the field of Y and I am very grateful for his encouragement.

Not sure this is better, but it is what I would say.

1
source | link

I would like to thank my supervisor X [...]. To a large extent, it is to his credit that I found my way into the field of Y and I am very grateful for it.

I would like to thank my supervisor X [...]. To a large extent, it is DUE to his MENTORING that I found my way into the field of Y and I am very grateful for HIS ENCOURAGEMENT.

Not sure this is better, but it is what I would say.