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A joke Dennis Miller made is completely nonsensical to me.

You would think that it would be... You get eight male comedians together at a dinner table would be like score monkeys fighting over a premise with fondue forks. But it was actually rather polite and curt (source: YouTube)

What are score monkeys? Why would they be fighting over a premise? Or was this line intended to be illogical as it gets?

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    Interestingly, while he says something that sounds like "score monkeys", the word "score" isn't in the subtitles or transcript. "Monkey" (as in code monkey) can mean a junior who isn't involved in the design of something. So perhaps a "score monkey" could mean a person who arranges musical scores, but is not involved in the conceptual composition, but just does the mechanical orchestration etc.
    – James K
    Commented Oct 24, 2019 at 15:03
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    You left out an essential word: eight male comedians. I think the appropriate meaning of score is, from Lexico "informal: Succeed in attracting a sexual partner for a casual encounter." So score monkeys are people who brag about their sexual exploits. Why premises and fondue forks? Incongruity is funny. Commented Oct 24, 2019 at 15:21
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    The exact meaning would be opaque to even most native speakers, since the collocationscore monkey has no significant currency. So I don't really think there's anything here worth learning, whether you already know "normal" English or not. Commented Oct 24, 2019 at 15:55
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    ...my best guess (a third possibility you hadn't even counted upon! :) is in this specific context, score monkeys are guests on chat-shows who are preoccupied with (aggressively) scoring debating points (gaining audience approval, "winning" a verbal exchange), rather than participating in a discussion. Commented Oct 24, 2019 at 16:02
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    I'm not convinced that he's saying 'score', but I can't think of any other word that fits. Searching for "score monkey"/"score monkeys" showed nothing relevant, so it's not a common phrase.
    – Sydney
    Commented Oct 24, 2019 at 20:07

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The expression "score monkey" has no significant use and its meaning is unclear. (It is suggested that it could be "guests on chat shows who try to score "points" rather than engage in conversation" or "men who brag about 'scoring' with women" or "junior composers of musical scores".) It is probably a mild insult of some kind.

Similarly the image of "fighting over a premise" is not a well known one, and the interpretation isn't obvious. "With fondue forks" sees likely to be simply an odd idea that is funny.

The meaning is opaque, but it is probably just a joke. It may be private slang. At any rate, the idea is clear enough. "You would think that 8 male comedians at one table would be chaotic, but actually it was calm."

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It sounds to me that words have merely been left out. It would read it:

You would think that it would be... [If] You get eight male comedians together at a dinner table [it] would be like [a] score [of] monkeys fighting over a premise with fondue forks.

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    This an excellent answer, and I think it’s probably right. However I think an explanation of ‘fighting over a premise’ is in order, considering that that’s one of the OP’s questions. Commented May 14, 2020 at 9:22

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