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  1. Person 1- What is he to you?
    Person 2- He's my husband.

  2. Person 1- What is he for you?
    Person 2- He's my husband.

If one wants to know how someone is related to someone else, what should they use "What is he to you?" Or "What is he for you?"

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2 Answers 2

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What is he to you?

Why do you care at all about him? What does he mean to you? Why would you be at all interested in him or in what he does?

How is he related to you?

What is the nature of your relationship? (e.g. spouse, friend, cousin, brother, etc)

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What is he to you?

The asker here is asking about how the other person is related to you.

What is he for you?

The asker here is asking about how you are related to the other person.

Like Stangdon commented, without context, it's quite difficult to assess what the sentence means.

Example:

Mary: Why are you still staying with him? He beats you every night. He is mean to you. He threatens you with your life. Why, Zara? What is he to/for you?

Here, Mary knows (and it is assumed) that the person who is mean to Zara is her husband. But she still poses a question as to what he is to/for her. This is because here it conveys a different meaning. Instead of asking about his relationship with Zara, she is asking Zara as to why this person matters so much to her that she is willing to stay with him even after the evil things he has done to her.

But, if you want to know how someone is related to someone else, you can ask either of the two question. You can also ask:

Who is s/he?

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  • If i had asked, "Who is he to you?" instead "What is he to you?", would it have been incorrect? Or would it still mean the same, the asker, asking about how the other person is related to you? @ Apr 14, 2016 at 7:55
  • @lekonchekon Yes, it would mean the same.
    – Usernew
    Apr 14, 2016 at 10:42
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    "What is he for you?" is a strange way to phrase it, though. Without a lot of context, I wouldn't understand what someone asking that meant. "What is his relationship to you?" is clearer.
    – stangdon
    Apr 14, 2016 at 17:18
  • @stangdon Yes! I thought that too. I even checked "what is he for you" on googlebooks, and the results weren't much satisfying. But, I don't think it is wrong. If anyone asks me "hey, man, what is he for you?" I would surely understand what he's asking. Nonetheless, I agree with you.
    – Usernew
    Apr 15, 2016 at 6:57

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