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I'm looking for a word (at best a verb because the expression in my native language a verb) used to show disapproval to describe when you do or want to do a favor for someone and you want to make that person feel that s/he is indebted to you.

For example my friend asks me for some money and I start talking about my own financial problems or the fact that this is me who's always helping him out then my friend confronts me with this and says,

I understand that this is a great favor but please stop [word]ing

Or I ask my colleague to help me and he acts like he wants you to know that he really doesn't have to do it and wants you to know he's doing you a favor. Later you tell your friend about your collegue and say,

Today I asked my colleague to help me and he did but with some [word]ing.

  • For Persian native speakers the word is منت گذاشتن :) – Yuri Aug 16 '16 at 22:24
  • Interesting... there is an Egyptian word for it too عا َيـِر – JavaLatte Aug 16 '16 at 22:56
  • Is that Cairene slang, @JavaLatte ? I think of it as control or force into line – P. E. Dant Aug 16 '16 at 23:05
  • @P.E.Dant, Egyptian is more a dialect than slang, with unique versions for 2,400 of the most widely used 5,000 words. Curious: the other meaning in both Egyptian and الفصحى is calibrate. – JavaLatte Aug 17 '16 at 12:26
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    @JavaLatte That is interesting. Calibrate has the sense of force into an ordered arrangement and that's how I thought I'd heard عا َيـِر used. It's easy to see how it can also mean force to feel indebted. – P. E. Dant Aug 17 '16 at 18:15
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In English, unfortunately, I believe we have no single verb that exactly conveys the negative sense of the Farsi منت گذاشتن

Obligate is a verb which in itself connotes nothing negative. Dictionary.com defines it as to bind or oblige morally or legally. Nevertheless, it is sometimes used in a negative sense, thus:

I understand that this is a great favor but please stop trying to obligate me.
Today I asked my colleague to help me and he did but not without making me feel obligated.

Another useful English word to consider is the adjective beholden. Although this word means only indebted or obligated, it is seldom used except in constructions which do connote something negative:

I understand that this is a great favor, but please stop trying to make me beholden to you.

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Perhaps guilt-tripping? As in to lay a guilt trip on me. It has a sense of making one feel guilty or ashamed.

  • This one can make the sense in some contexts. Thanks – Yuri Aug 17 '16 at 8:16
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If you're asking for a verb that describes a rant or tirade the word harangue (or harangued, past tense)comes to my mind. Americans generally use expressions instead so you might hear "he lectured me" , "read me the riot act",'Jumped my case" or 'guilt tripped me' about ( whatever it was.) He read me the riot act about borrowing money.

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