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I am feeling 50/50 about whether I should add 'with you' in this sentence.
I am keen to discuss further with you about how I can contribute to your company.
I am keen to discuss further about how I can contribute to your company.
Are they both correct? Which sentence is better? Thank you!
Both sentences seem to be correct. However, it depends on who you are addressing. If you are talking to one person, the first option would be the best choice. If you are talking to multiple people, or a whole company, then you should use option 2.
As a British person, I recognize that "keen" is a word mostly used in Britain. If you are talking to somebody who's not from Britain, maybe change "keen" into one of keen's synonyms.
As a commenter already pointed out, "with you" is superfluous here. Neither adding nor removing it affects the correctness of the sentence, but if you ask me as a native American English speaker it sounds better without it.
More to the point, though, the sentence feels off in different ways. "About" is just as superfluous as "with you," and "further" feels a bit presumptuous--assuming this is a cover letter, you haven't yet discussed anything with anyone, even if it is your hope to discuss these issues with someone at the company. Finally, at least in American English, there's been a strong trend toward using contractions always, even in formal language. "I am" feels a bit quaint, in my opinion.
Might you consider, instead, something like this? "I'm keen to learn more about how I can help contribute to your company." If it's American English, replace "keen" with "eager."
