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I have read a book talking about monogamous relationship. The book has a paragraph:

Nevertheless, few men like sharing their women, and many do not mind having one woman at a time if she happens to be great — not only drop-dead gorgeous, but also lovely to talk to and spend time with, both in and outside the bedroom. But most males are in long-term monogamous relationships because they have managed merely to find a female, not because they have found the female.

In the book, the writer said that monogamous relationship is not natural, and many men are in long-term monogamous relationships because they find it to to be a way to make their female stay and be faithful. But I don't understand the difference between "a female" and " the female" in this paragraph. Can anyone help me?

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    Well the basic difference is the use of the two articles: "a" implies 'one of many' while "the" specifies exactly about which female they're talking. – BladorthinTheGrey Oct 3 '16 at 5:53
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    After reading your text two things came to my mind. 1) a female; the man is such a miserable, desperate creature that by finding a random female, we feel much relief. We didn't find "the one" "the special" "the perfect one" but we managed to find a -random- female "nonetheless". So that is a relief. 2) stop reading that book. – Grizzly Oct 3 '16 at 5:55
  • (1) If I see a person, I wave at a person. I could be waving at a third party. (2) If I see a person, I wave at the person. This makes clear that I wave at the person that I see. – MetaEd Oct 3 '16 at 20:33
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It's denoting the emotional importance of the woman in question.

A female - is anyone. A guy has gone out and found a woman, any woman. There is little emotional importance here and not much in the way of deciding factors.

The female - has emotional importance. This is the "soul mate" and has a strong emotional bond.

Most men I know have a monogamous relationship with their "the female", and not just the first one they meet (as implied in your quoted text).

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