I have read a book talking about monogamous relationship. The book has a paragraph:

Nevertheless, few men like sharing their women, and many do not mind having one woman at a time if she happens to be great — not only drop-dead gorgeous, but also lovely to talk to and spend time with, both in and outside the bedroom. But most males are in long-term monogamous relationships because they have managed merely to find a female, not because they have found the female.

In the book, the writer said that monogamous relationship is not natural, and many men are in long-term monogamous relationships because they find it to to be a way to make their female stay and be faithful. But I don't understand the difference between "a female" and " the female" in this paragraph. Can anyone help me?

  • 2
    Well the basic difference is the use of the two articles: "a" implies 'one of many' while "the" specifies exactly about which female they're talking. Oct 3, 2016 at 5:53
  • 5
    After reading your text two things came to my mind. 1) a female; the man is such a miserable, desperate creature that by finding a random female, we feel much relief. We didn't find "the one" "the special" "the perfect one" but we managed to find a -random- female "nonetheless". So that is a relief. 2) stop reading that book.
    – Grizzly
    Oct 3, 2016 at 5:55
  • (1) If I see a person, I wave at a person. I could be waving at a third party. (2) If I see a person, I wave at the person. This makes clear that I wave at the person that I see.
    – MetaEd
    Oct 3, 2016 at 20:33

1 Answer 1


It's denoting the emotional importance of the woman in question.

A female - is anyone. A guy has gone out and found a woman, any woman. There is little emotional importance here and not much in the way of deciding factors.

The female - has emotional importance. This is the "soul mate" and has a strong emotional bond.

Most men I know have a monogamous relationship with their "the female", and not just the first one they meet (as implied in your quoted text).

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .