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A female is not going to make the decision to date with a male based on thinking, because in the heat of the moment, her emotions run the show. She will not think about it, she will feel about it[...]This is why some resistance or hesitation on the woman’s part is both normal and expected. Obviously, struggling is neither okay nor normal, but second thoughts on her part might be. The fact that she is married, engaged, or has a boyfriend might all of a sudden surface, or she will realize that she is about to do something that is considered “naughty”.

I couldn't understand the meaning of the sentence in the bold text. I understand the meaning of every word, but the way the sentence was written still confused me. So can you explain it, or better, can rewrite it to be easier to understand?

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Obviously, struggling is neither okay nor normal, but second thoughts on her part might be

The structure:

[A] is not ok or normal, but [B] might be (ok or normal).

It's not uncommon to implicitly refer back to a previous assertion without explicitly restating it. Other examples:

Jim and Jill both said it's fine to sneak into the movies, but I think it isn't.

Juicing and filtering are necessary parts of the process, as is a final pasteurization.

Typing and answering telephones are normal secretarial duties, but cleaning windows is probably not.

Otherwise "struggling" and "second thoughts" should be easy to look up.

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"Struggling" sounds like highly agitated, possibly physical effort to avoid dating somebody. This sentence is saying that it is not okay for a female to struggle to get out of dating.

A "second thought" is a hesitation. To have "second thoughts" about going on a date is to hesitate because you are thinking about it differently.

So, this sentence is saying that it's not okay or normal for a woman to struggle to avoid a date, but it is okay and normal for a woman to hesitate about going on a date.

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  • Lol. The paragraph is really hard to understand. I think the writer is not native speaker. I've read it twice but still wonder if "The fact that she is married, engaged, or has a boyfriend might all of a sudden surface, or she will realize that she is about to do something that is considered “naughty”" has any relation in here. Do you think It is nonsense to begin with?
    – thegioibian
    Commented Oct 26, 2016 at 19:23
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The paragraph seems to contradict itself. It says "A female is not going to think . . . but second thoughts . . . are normal and OK.

I have a PhD in Linguistics, and I can't understand it either!

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  • A PhD in Linguistics? Presumably that implies you're not a native Anglophone. It looks pretty straightforward to me. Although it's obviously bad/abnormal to actually "struggle", it might be okay/normal if she were to at least have "second thoughts".
    – FumbleFingers
    Commented Oct 26, 2016 at 19:50

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