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(1) At the end of the fifth day, Kimberly was so tired that she only felt like going to bed, but she had also acknowledged that too much was expected from her performance, since Cory was expecting an evening of laughs.

(2) At the end of the fifth day, Kimberly was so tired that she only felt like going to bed, but, since Cory was expecting an evening of laughs, she had also acknowledged that too much was expected from her performance.

Which is better, (1), where since Cory was expecting an evening of laughs is placed at the very end, or (2), where the fragment is placed in the middle?

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    There are two questions that make up "which is better". First, where can you put it grammatically? (The answer is lots of places. You're missing (3) medial position.) Second, is there any difference between these positions? (Yes, but it's difficult to say exactly what the differences are.) My personal opinion? It might be better to rewrite than to fuss over where to put this particular adjunct of reason. But you can feel free to ignore this opinion :-) – snailboat Sep 29 '13 at 0:25
  • Quite frankly, I don't see how your since clause follows logically from the statement. I'd expect something like: Kimberly was so tired that she only felt like going to bed, but since Cory was expecting an evening of laughs, she tried to stay awake and provide an entertaining performance. – Jim Sep 29 '13 at 5:53
  • @Jim, but shouldn't that 'since' mean 'due to the fact that'? – user2793 Sep 29 '13 at 7:44
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    Yes, it does, but the structure is: A is given. But because B is also given, C is the result even though A would normally preclude C. In your case her acknowledgement(C) is not precluded by her tiredness(A). – Jim Sep 29 '13 at 7:55
  • @Jim, your comment isn't entirely clear to me, but 'At the end of the fifth day, Kimberly was so tired that she only felt like going to bed, since Cory was expecting an evening of laughs', seems a nonsense. – user2793 Sep 29 '13 at 8:42
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The first is smoother and has a nice readability to it. However, both paragraphs contain a few comma errors that could be avoided. Personally, I would rewrite it to the following:

Kimberly was so tired at the end of the fifth day that she only felt like going to bed. She knew that too much had been expected from her performance, since Cory had been awaiting an evening of laughs.

Or if you wanted to get really fancy:

The fifth day left Kimberly with such a longing for sleep that she nearly dived into her welcoming mattress. She knew that far too much had been expected from her humble performance - Cory had wished for an evening of manic laughter, and all she could deliver were a few chuckles.

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