If my friend has got married to someone and I would like to ask my 3rd friend about him and his bride, what is the way to ask this?

I thought about two options:

a) "Whom have he got married to?"

b) "Whom did he get married to?"

Are they correct?

  • 2
    "To whom did he get married?", or more simply (and colloquially): "Who did he marry?"
    – Mick
    Nov 12, 2016 at 17:36
  • 1
    Any particular reason why you want to use "have got"? It is unnecessary. Also where you wrote "If my friend have got married to someone...", "If my friend got married to someone..." or "If my friend married someone..." is fine.
    – user3169
    Nov 12, 2016 at 17:51
  • Agree with both the above that most native speakers would simply ask Who did he marry? Note that Whom did you marry? is hopelessly outdated to most of us today, even though many of us are perfectly well aware that since Him is a credible one-word answer (and He isn't), then technically speaking it should be whom, not who. Nov 12, 2016 at 18:07
  • @FumbleFingers "Hopelessly" may overstate the case, don't you think? Surely we haven't come so far that the use of whom is viewed with disapproval or alarm! If I were to be asked "whom did you marry?" I would think the locution charming, a little formal, but not entirely out of band. Also, it's a register thing. It might discomfit the plumber, but my doctor wouldn't bat an eye. Nov 12, 2016 at 18:32
  • @P. E. Dant: I certainly don't think "hopelessly" overstates the case there. My NGram link primarily reflects written instances, which tend to be quite some way behind real-world spoken language. Consider a context where your marriage is going through a rough patch, and you're musing aloud to yourself about whether your partner really is the person you thought they were when you got married. If you were a dyed-in-the-wool Victorian, you might ask yourself Whom did I marry? (but probably in that case she'd be "normal" anyway, and you'd be the out-of-touch pedantic weirdo! :) Nov 12, 2016 at 19:06

1 Answer 1


You use whom as the object of a verb in formal English. When you do so, you generally use the whom after the necessary preposition. So the sentence should be:

To whom did he get married?

However, it's very common to use who instead of whom as the object of a verb, especially in informal English. In this case, we use the preposition at the end of a sentence as follows:

Who did he get married to?

You can also say Who did he marry? But the use of the phrase "get married" is more common.

As for the first sentence "Whom have he got married to?, it's ungrammatical; you don't use have for the third person. You use has for he. So the right sentence is:

To whom has he got married?

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