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I am writing a sentence which says

We followed a large set of Buddhist rule, but we have freedom inside which is reflected in that we always reach out to give and help others.

I'm trying to make in that means by the fact that, but by the fact that is too long and I want to be concise.

This sentence sounds a bit strange to me. Is that the correct word choice in this context? Can I improve the sentence to make it sound more natural?

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  • Can you give a bit more explanation as to your intent in writing this sentence? As it stands the sentence definitely is awkward and has some issues, but without knowing exactly what it is that you're trying to say, it's difficult to offer advice. Dec 26, 2016 at 3:29
  • @JasonPatterson Edited :D Dec 26, 2016 at 3:43

2 Answers 2

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I would say, "We follow a large set of Buddhist rules, but we have freedom within which is reflected in that we always reach out to give and help others."

"In that" was fine.

I would have used the present tense of "follow" since I assume you want to keep the present tense of "have".

I changed "inside" to "within" to invoke the abstract since rules are generally abstract constructs rather than concrete ones.

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Drop the "which is reflected", use "rules" rather than "rule", add "to" after give, and you're good.

"Which is" serves part of the same function as "in that": they both lead into the same explanation. So they conflict and that's why it looks funny.

We followed a large set of Buddhist rules, but we have freedom inside in that we always reach out to give to and help others.

Another way to write it would be

We followed a large set of Buddhist rules, but we have freedom inside which is reflected in our always reaching out to give to and help others.

If you mean you still follow the rules, then change "followed" to "follow".

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