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How do I say "shitload" or "shit-ton" without cursing?
Ideally, I'm looking for a term for casual conversation but without any cursing, the word you can use with kids and teens, or just adults you want to be friendly with without being vulgar.
I found words like "enormous amount" but it feels a little too formal and dull (and doesn't work if the word needs "number").
How appropriate is "buttload"? Would it be an acceptable synonym?
Yes, I think buttload is an acceptable, informal substitute, at least in AmE. However, some might still find the usage of butt somewhat offensive since some people consider butt to be a mild curse word. These people might include parents with very young children. Even so, I think most kids, teens, and adults wouldn't mind. In any case, a few more casual, inoffensive examples include
- ton - a great quantity : lot <ate tons of cookies> <has tons of money> <a ton of work to do>
- boatload - an indefinitely large number <a boatload of money>
- load
- often loads Informal A great number or amount: There were loads of people at the parade.
- lot
- a lot or lots Informal
a. A large extent, amount, or number: is in a lot of trouble; has lots of friends.
I like Max's answer, but having lived in NZ for a while (as a non-native English speaker), the first thing that came to mind was heaps.
Noun (informal) - a great deal; an enormous amount
⇒ I've got heaps to tell you., ⇒ You have heaps of time.Adverb (informal) - used as intensifier; very much; a great deal
⇒ He said he was feeling heaps better., ⇒ There's heaps more cake if you want it.
The polite version of shitload is 'shedload' or 'shedloads'. Whether 'buttload' is acceptable or not probably depends where you are - it wouldn't be acceptable in front of children in the UK, or in BrE. I can't say I find it that pleasant either, and I'm not a child...
shitload rather than a true alternative. After all, aren't most sheds rather small?
Not sure why it was removed in later revisions, but an older version of Wikipedia's list of Indefinite and fictitious numbers had some real gems:
Probably the most direct replacement for "shitload/shitton" would be "metric load/metric ton".
Humans have been producing social meaning from language nearly as long as we've been producing excremental material from nutrition.
We might not need many mental steps to move from buttload to shitload and, from that juncture, produce a picture, feeling or perception that some would find vulgar, inappropriate for some situations, or with which we might otherwise sit unpleasantly.
Butt, in and of itself, for example in (someone/something is) a pain in the butt or give (someone) a kick in the butt seems relatively less likely to offend on the sensabilities of most native English speakers than might a buttload, probably because reactive to butt, we'd expect even the more imaginative among us to conjure up an image of the prototypical fleshy globes so visually similar to peaches (a perfectly wholesome fruit), and often associated with expression of cuteness, humor, and a supple vitality. If any other sense would be generally activated consequent to such a crack, anecdotal evidence (introspective case-study method) suggests it is likely to be through the aural perceptive modality, such as the good-natured thwack emanating from a locker room in which happy and well-paid athletes demonstrate charming and harmless fraternal bonding via various playful and congratulatory smacking and patting maneuvers, or the popular songs of Jennifer Lopez (a 1997 Golden Globe nominee).
With buttload, on the other hand, fundamental psycholinguistic principles plainly suggest cognitive focus would often receive a dump of emotionally charged information squatly bound to the load component of the term, suggesting--even forcing--reactivity to foulness or an intolerable reek, funk, or dirtiness that may be more likely to cause a negative reaction in some than the use of the term butt in itself.
The term load, as betrayed by its common transition from noun to verb, represents potential action, a promise of release which most may yearn for, at least symbolically as a projected residue of past experiences with struggles against letting go, but which few truly wish to experience intimately as a product of a constructed other.
There are a shitload of terms and phrases to convey the idea of a large amount. Many people find vulgar terms, profanity, sex-related terms, or potty talk useful because they often carry a striking intensity, or deliver a powerful emphasizing effect, which may be why you chose shitload as a starting point for your question rather than merely asking for strong or emphatic terms that mean a large quantity.
You might use mountains of (substance), or millions of (objects) effectively, depending on tone of voice, other contextual factors, and exactly what you might be referring to.
If you supplied a particular example, or specified the question further, we may be better able to supply what you're looking for.
Meanwhile, searches in dictionaries and thesauruses for synonyms for simple terms like many, myriad, large, massive, huge, ton, etc., should provide a range of options. If none seem to do the trick, you might try editing your question and trying to explain what you want to express that such alternatives don't seem to accomplish.
Crap is usually considered a milder equivalent to shit. So I would go with crap load or crap ton.
The best direct non-vulgar synonym (as per question title) for "a shitload" would be "an obscene amount", meaning:
so large an amount or size as to be very shocking or unfair.
Asker stated (emphasis mine):
I found words like "enormous amount" but it feels a little too formal and dull (and doesn't work if the word needs "number").
As such, this answer doesn't really fulfill all of asker's requirements, but in my opinion "an obscene amount" does carry the intended meaning, because "obscene" is linked to derogatory terms.
You might also consider using "metric ton" if you want to be a tiny bit more formal. The derivation is based on the metric system, and the idea that, purely in terms of the metric ton vs the US (short) ton, then a metric ton is heavier (2,204.6 pounds) than a short ton (2000lb) which gives us the use of "metric"as an intensifier.
As some of the earlier answers/comments suggested, "shipload" works wonders at getting as close to the same shock value as cursing.
Since having kids I started adopting something similar to replace many of my curse words with logical alternatives. If you really want to emphasize it and get some heads turning/thinking/chuckling, prepend it with "frigate" (a type of ship). My favorite phrase in this context: "That's a frigate shipload of context you've got there!"
In Northern California, one might substitute the word hella for this purpose.
Definition:
Hella: a large amount or number of.
Example:
"We found hella Pokemon in the Mission"
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hella
This word has been proposed to be the numeric prefix for figures followed by 27 zeros (the likes of "kilo" and "giga"). Should this be accepted by the international scientific community, I think it might attain more common use.
Just substitute, “shit” with “stuff” and rejigger the concept a bit and you can easily use it with pretty much any audience.
Piles of Stuff
To me, the most obvious, and completely inoffensive, option is "bunch".
As in, "I have a bunch of errands to run today" or "I bought a bunch of food at the store".
From Merriam-Webster:
a : a number of things of the same kind a bunch of grapes
b : group a bunch of friends
c : a considerable amount : lot a bunch of money
Any option that ends in 'load' is probably going to be somewhat offensive. A 'buttload' conjures up an image of a butt literally filled with the thing. A "buttload of grapes" is a literally the number of grapes needed to fill a butt. That's not super pleasant.
A word I have used is mega-ton from nuclear explosions but it looks like I made it up as slang. Maybe you could use mega-pile.
I have heard words like BFP for big frigging pile but that may be vulgar as well.
A USAian who recalls old tv series, or who wants to evoke such a memory, could use "mass quantities". That would probably trigger for anyone over 50, and possibly for anyone over 40 (re-runs).
For my part, I use the German word "Haufe" (heap). Even though non-speakers of German probably won't know the word, they'll nevertheless get the idea from the context.
How about ginormous (amount) or humongous (amount)?
Ginormous is less formal than enormous and has a more playful tone. It also implies a really large amount (ie. combination of gigantic and enormous).
How appropriate is "buttload"?
Personally I don't like "cute" substitutions for swear words. If you are going to swear go ahead and swear. Don't substitute some other word that the listener then has to substitute back in their minds.
You can say "___ up the wazoo". Apparently "wazoo" here is a euphemism for the butt. I don't think this expression would be likely to be perceived as offensive, although apparently at least some people think of it as "vulgar". Mark Liberman gives more explanation in a Language Log post: The Road to Wazoo
Some definitions:
out/up the wazoo:
US informal : in large amounts (Merriam-Webster)
up the wazoo, to an extreme degree or in great abundance: She's got problems up the wazoo. (Dictionary.com Unabridged, Random House)
up (or out) the wazoo
US informal
Very much; in great quantity; to a great degree.
‘he's insured out the wazoo’
‘Jack and I have got work up the wazoo already’ (Oxford Dictionaries)
You could use the adjective galore.
adjective
: abundant, plentiful —used postpositively
Source: M-W
This is an Irish (Gaelige)-derived term that is used as a postpositive adjective. It isn't terribly formal, but it is not vulgar and is great if you want to impart a little Celtic or quasi-Celtic flavor to your speech.
food and drink galore.
1660-70; < Irish go leor enough, plenty ( Scots Gaelic gu leòr, leòir), equivalent to go, particle forming predicative adjectives and adverbs + leór enough ( Old Irish lour)
Source: Dictionary.com
Must be a thousand ways (huge number?) to answer this. The most obvious is "boatload", retaining the original structure and connotation (IMO) without the vulgarity. I'm unsure why "enormous amount" seems too formal to you but I understand too well the "dumbing down" of our language.
Please don't use "buttload", "crapload", "BFP", etc. OK, so I'm an old fogey and set in my ways. It don't make me wrong.
