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this is the text:

“Sit still,” Ma says as she reaches down to stop my leg midswing, but I end up kicking her hand. Ma gives me a stern look and a swift slap on my leg. “Don’t you ever sit still? You are five years old. You are the most troublesome child. Why can’t you be like your sisters? How will you ever grow up to be a proper young lady?” Ma sighs. Of course I have heard all this before. It must be hard for her to have a daughter who does not act like a girl, to be so beautiful and have a daughter like me. Chat conversation end

It says who does not act like a girl, to be so beautiful

Is it a paradox to not act like a girl and to be so beautiful ?

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The bolded phrases in your sentence are parallel complements of "hard (for her)".

It must be hard for her to have a daughter who does not act like a girl.

It must be hard for her to be so beautiful and have a daughter like me.

Compare:

It must be hard for the injured star player to sit the bench during the championship game, to watch his team losing.

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