1

According to dictionary,

to be married=to have a husband or a wife

to get married=to have a wedding

Situation 1: you currently have a husband/wife,

You can say "I am married" = I have a husband/wife. (expressing a fact)

You can say "I have been married for 10 years"= I have had a husband/wife for 10 years. (an action happened in the past and have been progressing to the present time.)

You can not say "I was married" because it is against the fact (you currently have a husband)

You can not say "I am getting married" because you do not have a wedding at this moment, it happened in the past

But you may say "I got married" because you possibly did have a wedding in the past

Situation 2: you currently have no husband/wife, you divorced,

You can say "I was married" = I had a husband/wife. (expressing a fact in the past but not at the present time)

You can say "I had been married for 10 years before we divorced"= I had had a husband/wife for 10 years before we divorced. (an action happened in the past and had been progressing to a point of time also in the past.)

You can not say "I am married" because it is against the fact (you divorced)

You can not say "I am getting married" because you do not have a wedding at this moment, it happened in the past

But you may say "I got married" because you possibly did have a wedding in the past before you divorced

Situation 3: you are going to have a wedding next month.

You can say "I am getting married next month"

You can say "I got married last year" but we don't know you may have divorced or you are still in a happy marriage.

You can't say "I have got married for 10 years" because it sounds like you have weddings every year.

Can we say "I am married" (have a husband /wife) in this situation when the wedding has not happened yet???

  • 1) "To be married" has two meanings: to be in a state of marriage, or betrothed. 2) It's "I have been married for 10 years" rather than "I have got married for 10 years". 3) Last question: "I am married" reflects whatever your current status is. A culture allows multiple spouses: you could be married and also be engaged to be married. Multiple spouses not allowed: you could still be both married and engaged, and planning to violate the law. Or you could have a pending but not final divorce and be engaged, with the intention of marrying after the divorce is final (both married and engaged). – fixer1234 Feb 24 '17 at 10:09
  • Actually, you technically can say "I was married" in Situation 1 if you clarify it, because to marry means "to join in marriage*". So it's also correct to say "I was married at a courthouse in a small town" even if you're still married. – stangdon Feb 24 '17 at 10:58
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I may be misconstruing the simplicity of the question. But my answer to the question asked in the last sentence would be a no. You cannot say "I am married" until you have undergone the formal procedure of marriage. You may, however, say that you are engaged.

  • & is it wrong to say "I have got married for 10 years"? – Tom Feb 24 '17 at 9:51
  • 1
    @Tom - Yes, it is incorrect to say "I have got married for 10 years." I have gotten _____ means a change of state, something that happened once. "You got married ten years ago", not "for ten years." If you mean that you are married since ten years ago, the correct phrasing would be "I have been married for ten years." – stangdon Feb 24 '17 at 10:52

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