Is there a word for someone who always thinks about his girlfriend?
He does not let her go on Facebook, he only lets her do things that he wants, he always dotes on her, he does not like when she talks to other people.
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"kept woman" comes to mind, though that's only applicable to her not him, and the common references seem to all include adultery which surprised me.– not store bought dirtMar 20, 2017 at 21:09
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4The way you have this question worded is a little confusing. Maybe it should read "Word for someone who does not let his girlfriend do anything without his permissions." or similar.– David BaucumMar 20, 2017 at 21:10
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3@notstoreboughtdirt as far as I know a "kept woman" is about financial support. There may be a correlation with the supporter's control of the supportee, but it's not inherent to the term.– stanniusMar 20, 2017 at 21:45
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4This question is confusing. The title asks for a person who obsesses about his girlfriend, then the first line asks for a person who always thinks about his girlfriend, then the second line asks for a person who controls and restricts the activities of his girlfriend as well as expressing an over-developed sense of jealousy. These are all completely different things. Which is it?– Lightness Races in OrbitMar 21, 2017 at 11:30
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@BoundaryImposition The question has been edited multiple times to try to make the question more clear. I have removed "obsesses" from the title because it's a loaded word, and it's not one that the author originally used.– ColleenVMar 22, 2017 at 13:47
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5 Answers
A common contemporary term for this is "controlling", as in "over-controlling".
He was very controlling of their relationship and never let her go out with friends.
He was a very controlling person and habitually read her personal email and texts.
Another, more extreme possibility is "domineering", which implies the person dominates the relationship:
His domineering personality made it so that she couldn't leave the house without telling him where she was going, and when she would be back home.
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3Yes, but I think quite often the submissive partner in such a relationship will describe his/her partner as jealous rather than controlling. Presumably as a sort of euphemistic apology (her/his superficially inconsiderate behaviour is actually a sign of how much he cares about me and wants me all to himself, not that he/she's a borderline psychopath! :) Mar 20, 2017 at 17:03
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@FumbleFingers I think "controlling" is itself a kind of euphemism for "domineering". It's the kind of touchy-feeling term used by therapists and marriage counselors -- not uncommon in my experience but perhaps new to someone else. I would say "jealous" can lead to "controlling" but you can be one without the other.– AndrewMar 20, 2017 at 17:20
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controlling is a verb, not a noun. I think the verb control is fine to describe the person or what he does. What''s touchy-feely about it?? Even if jealous is the adjective, the verb would be control.– LambieMar 20, 2017 at 18:58
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2@Lambie in this context "controlling" is an adjective, reference. It's touchy-feely because it's a neutral term used instead of more pejorative phrases that would lead to argument instead of dialogue, e.g. calling a jealous husband "controlling" is a lot nicer than saying he's an "overbearing asshole".– AndrewMar 20, 2017 at 20:04
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1Depending on the extent of the behavior, any or all of these could also be euphemisms for abusive.– 1006aMar 20, 2017 at 20:52
In slang, an informal term is: The guy is a control freak.
Johnny is obsessed with his girlfriend and is a control freak.
[[The one I hate is when "they" start saying what girlfriends can or cannot wear! Or who they can talk to. Ugggh]]
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I agree, "control freak" is a good colloquialism for this kind of behavior.– AndrewMar 20, 2017 at 20:05
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I don't; wouldn't expect to hear the term used for this specific situation. Mar 21, 2017 at 11:31
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It would help if you actually gave the definition of "control freak" so that it's more clear how it applies to this situation, and what other sorts of situations it might apply to - it's not just for boyfriends who try to control their girlfriends.– ColleenVMar 22, 2017 at 13:52
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@ColleenV The OP has described it. That is enough. So, we had a definition, and I named it. Of course, it can apply to anyone who does similar things.– LambieMar 22, 2017 at 14:08
You might also consider the word "abuser" as someone who exhibits the types of behaviors you mentioned in your question is emotionally abusing their girlfriend. Emotional abuse often turns to physical abuse. Controlling, domineering, jealous, etc. are watered down ways to describe emotional abuse.
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I have moved the comments to chat. Please keep in mind that the folks asking the question may not be fluent in English, so we shouldn't get too hung up on the exact words they use.– ColleenVMar 22, 2017 at 13:35
I would like to suggest attached. Which means: "to bind by ties of affection or regard."
You always attach yourself to people who end up hurting you.
An even stronger wording could be overly attached The overly attached girlfriend is a common meme which is very much in line with the description:
answered Mar 21, 2017 at 19:50
I believe the word you're looking for is:
Controlling
