1

I proofreaded an essay and this sentence

1

Obviously, you don't need to worry about the shipping fees that I'll be more than happy to pay to make up the damage I did to you.

was corrected to

2

Obviously, you don't need to worry about the shipping fees as I'll be more than happy to pay to make up the damage I did to you.

I think it is like having

You don't need to worry about the shipping fees.

I'll be more than happy to pay the shipping fees.

and putting the two clauses together:

You don't need to worry about the shipping fees that I'll be more than happy to pay

  • 1
    The former sentence is correct. Version 2 sounds incorrect to my non-native ear. It's a that clause. Obviously, you don't need to worry about the shipping fees that I'll be more than happy to pay to make up the damage I did to you. – SovereignSun Apr 27 '17 at 11:02
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    Changing it to a causal "as" clause (as in #2) changes the meaning slightly, but is probably fine because the "as" meaning is implicit. If I had been the proofreader, I would have suggested making it 2 sentences because the "that" clause is made up of two bits itself, which makes it difficult to read. I would suggest: "Obviously, you don't need to worry about the shipping fees. I'll be more than happy to pay them to make up the damage I did to you." – SteveES Apr 27 '17 at 11:23
  • @SovereignSun The "as" means the same thing as "because". It's perfectly fine. If I were proofreading 2, I'd probably recommend adding the word "them" after "to pay" to make it clearer. – David Schwartz Jun 24 '17 at 11:38
1

Unfortunately, sentence 1) refers to a subset of the fees, those that you are willing to pay. The sentence doesn't guarantee that you agree to all of them. If you told me

"You don't need to worry about rain coming in the windows that I decided to close,"

I would be justified in worrying about rain coming in one of the other windows.

Your final proposal has the same problem, it uses "that" and thus only refers to a subset of the fees. Of course that subset may be all of them, but I assume that your intention is to reassure the other person by guaranteeing that you will pay all of the fees.

Sentence 2) establishes a causal link, the other person doesn't have to worry at all because you agree to pay.

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