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Family having conversation at dining table. After seeing her elder sister getting served with coffee, so brother asks for him also.

Young Son: I want coffee.

Father: No way, dude. You don't give crack to somebody who's already on speed.

Mother: Don't worry, we switched him to decaf.

Elder Daughter: As long as you don't switch me.

Mother: No, baby, that would be child abuse.

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  • Maybe because this is a poorly constructed joke? – Robusto Jun 15 '17 at 13:15
  • It's exaggeration for humor, equating denying the daughter regular coffee with child abuse. – fixer1234 Jun 15 '17 at 17:55
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Your scenario is a joke.

"Real" coffee drinkers like the caffeine kick they get with their coffee and the Elder Daughter is making that obvious.

The Mother is equating giving decaffinated coffee to abusively denying something to a child.

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The phrase "switch me" means "beat me with a small stick" or "spank me" or even perhaps "exchange me for something or someone else." The pun comes from the different meanings of switch; the phrase "switch me" is short for "switch me to another type of coffee" or short for "switch my coffee."

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  • Interesting that there are two completely different ways to take the given quote with humorous intent! I never would have seen this one since I'm familiar with the other pattern. – user6619 Oct 9 '17 at 5:05

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