What does “welded” mean in this context?
I hope aged 98 she has both boobs out. Brand new boobs, newly welded nipples pointing upwards like Pekinese dogs sniffing chocolate. Give the world something genuine to quack about.
Source: "Ducks force-fed shortbread, teens drunk on cider, petrol vigilantes... that's the real countryside, Danny Boyle" by Grace Dent, in The Independent, June 13, 2012.