My perception is that the word "privilege" here has something to do with "gift" , as if being able to mourn freshly for somebody after many years he or she had died is like a gift , it is an advantage but because they were used to this pain so it was no longer a surprise for them , they could not cry. Emmotinally disablled, The thing is that is all my perception, I was not able to find it in any dictionary, except for denying a privilege that was like ignoring something important.
...photograph of my mother, larger than life and draped with a tuberose garland, hung on their living-room wall. “She’s not with us, Didun,” I said, and it was only then that both my grandparents broke down, grieving freshly for my mother as neither my father nor I had done. Being with her through her illness day after day had denied us that privilege.