I don't think there's anything wrong with the comparisons you've provided, although they sound rather idiosyncratic and jocular, but this may be what you're going for.
It might be better to indicate one of the cabinets or sofas and say "this cabinet" or "this sofa", but if you think that would just lead to irrelevant questions about which sofa, I think you can say "these cabinets" or "these sofas".
I would avoid pluralising "me", even in the most informal or jocular contexts. The only time this might be appropriate would be if you were talking about a situation where you had been cloned. We never use a hyphen to pluralise (so it wouldn't be "me-s"). Traditionally the apostrophe is used when pluralising names of letters, digits and certain words that are rarely pluralised ("a's", "3's", "do's and don'ts"). However, because the apostrophe is wrongly used by some people in pluralising ordinary nouns (*"potato's"), it now gets drummed into people at school that using the apostrophe to pluralise a word is "always" wrong. This has resulted in the traditional use of the apostrophe (in plurals such as "3's") becoming stigmatised. Consequently, people tend to avoid it even in those cases (and write "as" or " 'a's ", "3s", "dos", etc). Most people therefore would probably favour "mes" as the plural.
