When my friend,whom I helped with house work while she was out and I love her,she'svery nice and kind ,send me a message saying You way,way,way too good for me I don't deserve you.What she mean by that?is it meant as a compliment or was she annoyed by receiving too much help and attention?

3 Answers 3


Your friend meant that she was very grateful for your help. "You are too good for me, I do not deserve you" is a compliment in which the speaker is lowering their own self in order to elevate the other person.

Some people mean this phrase more literally than others do, so you have to use what you know about the person to understand exactly what they meant. A person with low self-esteem who thinks very highly of you may actually believe and mean that they are not worthy of your friendship (though they may still accept your friendship). However, many people use this phrase in an off-hand manner. They do not actually have self-esteem issues. They are simply somewhat exaggerating their true feelings. What they are trying to communicate is that they genuinely and deeply appreciate your friendship.

As with most phrases, "You are too good for me" can be used sarcastically to mean the opposite of its usual meaning. However, it is clear from the situation that your friend was not being sarcastic or dismissive toward you.

A natural response to what your friend said might be something like "Not at all. I was glad to help." If you suspected the speaker might have low self-esteem, you could say, "That's not true. You're a very good friend, and I am always happy to help you."

  • Thank you very much,I very appreciate your comment and explanation .just wasn't completely sure and it's very important to me,you really helped.And that's exactly how I responded.Thanks again.
    – Meredith
    Sep 24, 2017 at 10:49

Your friend was overwhelmed by how much you helped her and is very happy. She feels that she didn't do anything to deserve so much kindness from you.


Yes, it was meant as a compliment, but the probable sub-text is that she is saying that she does not love you in the gentlest words that she can find. In other words, she is probably saying that she appreciates your help, thinks highly of your kindness, but wants you as a friend rather than a lover.

  • I don't think the original question implied that @Meredith thought of this friend as a lover. "I love her, she's very nice and kind" would usually mean a platonic love in this context.
    – Tony DiRienzo
    Sep 24, 2017 at 4:21

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