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Could you please tell me if I should insert a comma before who in this sentence that I've written? I feel that the "who" is nonrestrictive here since the clause "who hadn't wanted kids" is not required to identify the "boyfriend of twenty years." Am I right?

Jane had gone to adopt a child after breaking up with her boyfriend of twenty years who hadn't wanted kids.

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    The information in the relative clause is an integral part of the larger message, so there's no reason to treat it as a supplementary (non-restrictive) relative. – BillJ Feb 15 '18 at 18:52
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    @BillJ Hmm ... treating it as a restrictive implies that Jane had at least two boyfriends of twenty years :) – StoneyB Feb 15 '18 at 18:54
  • @StoneyB There are times when relatives that in theory are supplementary seem distinctly odd when analysed that way. Does this look OK to you?: "Jane had gone to adopt a child after breaking up with her boyfriend of twenty years, who hadn't wanted kids" I don't think so. – BillJ Feb 15 '18 at 18:57
  • @BillJ Indeed I do prefer the clause bracketed: as the sentence stands the relative is not an identification of the boyfriend but a comment explaining the connection between the adoption in the main clause and the breakup in the first subordinate clause. – StoneyB Feb 15 '18 at 19:09
  • @StoneyB It reminds me of the appositive "This is my wife Lucy". There is no implication here that I have more than one wife; rather, the integrated construction simply provides a succinct way of saying that the person concerned is my wife and is named Lucy. I'd apply the same logic to the OP's example. – BillJ Feb 15 '18 at 19:09

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