0

Currently I am trying to write a text related to our organisation and I am wondering what tenses to use. The text should be shown on some presentation slides.

Here it is:

As a research institute focused on smart living, we are striving to improve how people will live in upcoming years by delivering ideas, strategies and concepts. Together with our partner companies we are working on proof of concepts and are furthermore trying to master the challenge of bringing our ideas to market to fulfill some enriching experiences for all tenants.

1

Here's my thoughts.

In general, grammatically speaking, as long as you use the same tense throughout, you're fine. In this context, I'd say present tense makes the most sense, because you're talking about the present goals of the company and not what you've done in the past.

"And are furthermore" : this sounds a bit wordy, personally I find furthermore unnecessary (I don't like transitions like that in the middle of a sentence when the ideas are similar)

Finally, "to fulfill some enriching experiences", the "some" is entirely unnecessary and doesn't add much to the sentence.

Best of luck with your presentation (:

  • Please don't answer general proofreading or "how can I write this better?" questions; they're explicitly out of scope. – stangdon Mar 7 '18 at 15:04
  • @stangdon Apologies, won't happen again. – Yvain Mar 7 '18 at 15:05

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.