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This question already has an answer here:

A: "I read your annual sales report, but it's missing some information.

B: "Oh, I didn't realize that. Do you mind my/me asking what exactly I missed?"

Should the correct response be "Do you mind my asking what exactly I missed?" or, "Do you mind me asking what exactly I missed?"

Which one is correct and why?

marked as duplicate by Nathan Tuggy, FumbleFingers, Andrew, Peter, Varun Nair Mar 12 '18 at 5:10

This question has been asked before and already has an answer. If those answers do not fully address your question, please ask a new question.

  • Apparently, both are: if you don’t mind my saying so/if you don’t mind me asking used when you are saying or asking something that you think might offend someone: You’re looking tired, if you don’t mind my saying so. How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking? – Michael Login Mar 10 '18 at 16:59
  • It isn't a duplicate because those answers do not explain the grammar in a form that is easily graspable. – – Lambie Mar 10 '18 at 17:20
  • @Lambie: I'd say they are effectively the same question. If you think the original wasn't properly answered you should still vote to close this one, and post your answer there rather than here. – FumbleFingers Mar 10 '18 at 17:55
  • Most everything has overlap. – Lambie Mar 10 '18 at 18:36
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They mean the same thing.

Do you mind ||my asking|| what exactly I missed?

This may be parsed as: to mind something where a possessive and gerund noun is used, and it is a direct object;

Yes, I do mind ||his not asking me|| to the party. His not asking me was rude.

WHEREAS in:

Do you mind me ||asking|| what exactly I missed?

Yes, asking me that is rude.

The idiom here would be:

to mind [someone: indirect object] doing something.

In this case, the pronoun is indirect followed by a gerund noun.

There are, therefore, two ways to parse these usages.

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