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Can someone tell me if your dad and my is correct in the following question?

Today would have been your dad and my 40th wedding anniversary.

Thanks much.

CG

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  • Who is "my"? And please do not use all caps. use the * sign (asterisk) twice to make it bold text. If a mother is speaking: Today, would have been our anniversary. If a mother addresses a child: Today, would have been your dad's and my anniversary. Colloquial.
    – Lambie
    Mar 24, 2018 at 17:54
  • What's the idea of using "would have been"?
    – Victor B.
    Mar 24, 2018 at 18:41
  • @Rompey - Presumably it isn't, for whatever reason (maybe they're divorced or something).
    – stangdon
    Mar 24, 2018 at 20:54
  • 1
    @Rompey It indicates impossibility of that happening. See this.
    – user3395
    Mar 24, 2018 at 22:41

2 Answers 2

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A mother addressing a son or daughter, colloquially:

  • Today, would have been our 40th anniversary. [another way, formal or informal]

  • Today, would have been your dad's and my 40th anniversary. [informal, mother to child]

The word anniversary after dad's is implied. It may be omitted. It is usual to put the other person first. It's considered less "self-centered".

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It simply doesn't sound like you're talking about your and your dad's 40th anniversary (notice the apostrophe-s thing at the end of dad), but about two different things: your dad and your 40th anniversary. To better understand why, let's split the sentence up into two separate clauses connected with an and:

Today would have been your dad and today would have been my 40th wedding anniversary.

First of all, can you see that the statement today would have been your dad talks about just your dad and not about your dad's 40th wedding anniversary? Secondly, do you really think that this statement is even making any realistic sense? I don't think so. We need to add the possessive s and 40th wedding anniversary after your dad if we want to turn it into something that actually makes sense:

Today would have been your dad's 40th wedding anniversary and today would have been my 40th wedding anniversary.

Now, it's all down to just smoothing it all back together into one sentence as before (I think my coming before your dad's sounds better):

Today would have been my and your dad's 40th wedding anniversary.

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  • "My and your dad's 40th wedding anniversary" may be interpreted as "our dad's 40th wedding anniversary", don't you agree?
    – Victor B.
    Mar 24, 2018 at 18:37
  • Technically speaking yes. I'm not sure if it's at all possible to escape this ambiguity completely. But in a context, it would be perfectly clear what is meant.
    – Michael Rybkin
    Mar 24, 2018 at 18:43
  • The matter is that there's no context to the question as it is put.
    – Victor B.
    Mar 24, 2018 at 19:06

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