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Imagine that I bought a book two weeks ago, payment was made the same day but the seller has not sent the book yet. Shall I write Are you sending the book soon or are you going to send the book soon I think the first one is better because I have already paid for it the emphasizes is more on the event itself than on the intention

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While I don't think there is very much difference in meaning, as you note "going to" asks about intention, so asking "are you sending the book soon" is more direct, forceful and expresses some anger or frustration. If that is what you want to suggest, then I agree with your analysis.

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