Which of the following sentences is correct?

"I have a strong willed and determined personality that causes me to do my best to achieve my goals"

" My personality is strong willed and determined, to do my best to achieve my goals"

  • I'd prefer the second one (straight and simple) without using comma. – Maulik V Jan 30 '14 at 5:56
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    I would definitely prefer the first one. The second (with the comma) is not well-formed, and without the comma it says that your personality is determined to do your best- which is not something I think a personality does. Your personality may be a contributing factor in why you are determined to do your best, but your personality doesn't have a brain and therefore can't be determined to do anything. – Jim Jan 30 '14 at 6:31
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    But I would revise the first to say, "I have a strong will and a determined ..." – Jim Jan 30 '14 at 6:35
  • @Jim I meant 'willed and determined' as an adjective collectively. Determined there means devoting full strength and concentrated attention to. Something like - I am strong and able to do that. But maybe, your point is worth considering. Personality is the complex of all our attributes including mental/emotional and behavioral. – Maulik V Jan 30 '14 at 7:26
  • how about this sentence: "I have a strong will and determination that causes me to do my best to achieve my goals. " – Potential Scientist Jan 30 '14 at 7:47

It doesn't seem natural to say that your personality causes you or motivates you to do anything. I would change it to "I have a strong will and a determined personality; I strive to achieve my goals."

  • Your sentence is stronger and more concise than mine. However, the point you're making in your first sentence is a bit of a philosophical one. One could argue that your second sentence disagrees with the position (which you haven't exactly taken) that personality doesn't cause or motivate one to do anything: it simply implies rather than stating that the effect of the determined personality is the striving to achieve goals. If so, then the personality is indeed the cause of that effect. – BobRodes Feb 4 '14 at 16:19
  • Philosophically speaking, I agree with you. Grammatically speaking, it's still awkward to put it that way. :p – tuespetre Feb 4 '14 at 19:42

A third possibility, that simplifies the first without changing the meaning as much as the second: "My strong-willed and determined personality causes me to do my best to achieve my goals." I would also use "motivates" instead of "causes", personally.

I don't think the second example you give makes a heck of a lot of sense. You'd have to say "which causes me to do my best" rather than just "to do my best". That gets wordy again, which is what you were trying to avoid when you changed the first example.

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