Use this he/him method to decide whether who or whom is correct:
he = who
him = whom
Who/Whom wrote the letter?
He wrote the letter. Therefore, who is correct.
Who/Whom should I vote for?
Should I vote for him? Therefore, whom is correct.
I understand the rule and can apply it, but I'm not efficient in applying it time-wise. This clearly shows in speech with a live person or a group.
For example, in speech I want to say:
The doctor whom you recommended is not available for three months.
But it goes something like this:
Speak: The doctor ...
start of the 10 second pause
Mental step 1: "he you recommended"
Mental step 2: "you recommended he"
Mental step 3: "you recommended him"
Mental step 4: him = whom
end of the 10 second pause
Speak: ... whom you recommended is not available for three months.
It's really awkward. Is there a faster way to identify whether to use who or whom?