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I have came across with the following marked sentence and couldn't understand clearly. Is it correct sentence? Could you interpret it? Its meaning is able to be "I can't hold myself"?

Every time
I really can not helpful wondering about the answer of why?
When I ask myself the reason, I constantly find myself staring at the space with fixed glances

  • These seem like lyrics to a song. Lyrics don't always follow standard rules of grammar, but there seem to be a few problems with the transcription of the lyrics beyond what's called "artistic license." Could you provide the name of the song or artist? – Tashus Nov 1 '18 at 12:57
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The idiom is "can't help but wonder," as in "I can't help but wonder why the band didn't play my favorite song."

Or "can't help but wondering," as in "I can't help but wondering whether the rain tomorrow will interrupt our plans."

I think it comes from a longer phrase that might help explain the nuance:

"I can't help myself but I have to wonder why the English language has so many idioms."

"I can't help but wonder why the English language has so many idioms."

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