1

I want to explain my general ambition separately in two parts. Is the following sentence grammatically and literally correct? How about using "consist" as a verb for subject (ambition)? If it seems awkward, please suggest me a better sentence.

My ambition to make the world a better place to live was not restricted just to the environment, but rather consisted of participating in society to extend peace and friendship among people.

2

Grammatically, your sentence is fine. It's light on content, though.

My ambition to make the world a better place to live1 was not restricted just to just the environment, but rather consisted of participating in society to extend peace and friendship among people2.

  1. "To live" can be omitted to reduce the length of the sentence. "To live" is implied along with all other activities we do here on Earth. "To live" also sounds a little repetitive coming so soon after "to make." This is purely style, though, and the next reader may disagree with me.

  2. This sentence is understandable and grammatically correct but does not convey any meaningful message. It's essentially a long winded way of saying "I was nice to people." You should try being more specific about what you did.

3

Grammatically and in the use of "consist" it is correct. It is rather full of teenage optimism, but that is perhaps not a bad thing.

I assume this is for some kind of "personal statement" or similar. It is rather meaningless: I mean, I assume everyone wants things to be better; how are you different? Nearly everyone "participates in society". How exactly do you "extend peace"? As it stands it looks like "padding".

  • you are right, I'm writing a SOP for a business school, but after this sentence, I wanted to explain how I would intend to do so. Now, due to your comment, I feel I'd better to be more specific and less teenagish. Thanks – sasan taghadosi Jan 2 at 20:38

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