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I have written the following sentence, but I feel that it's too long, especially the number of the word "animal" is too many. What's your idea about this? If so, please suggest me how to make it more academic and more concise.

It is worth mentioning that, I have never ignored participating in extra-curricular activities. In my point of view, animals are our friends and deserve our compassion; Therefore, I joined an animal protection agency as an animal supporter activist to help build an animal-friendly environment by donating money to the charity and feeding unsheltered animals.

closed as off-topic by Michael Harvey, Jason Bassford, user070221, Davo, Andrew Jan 5 at 0:23

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

  • "Questions asking for someone to find and correct errors or improve the phrasing are considered requests for proofreading and are off-topic. Please edit your question to focus on something in particular that you are unsure about; if that's not possible, see websites for proofreading instead." – Michael Harvey, Jason Bassford, user070221, Davo, Andrew
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

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    One way: "I participate in extra-curricular activities. In my view, animals are our friends and deserve our compassion, so I joined an animal protection agency as a supporter activist, donating my time and money to the charity." And all the facts are in. – Robusto Jan 2 at 21:04
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I have always participated in extra-curricular activities. As a supporter activist, I believe animals have the right to a friendlier and more compassionate environment, which is why I joined a protection agency that helps look after abandoned animals.

  • The second animals could become creatures. – Michael Harvey Jan 2 at 21:18
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    @MichaelHarvey I think "animals" is still preferable, it's more natural. – Mari-Lou A Jan 2 at 21:20
  • What is more natural than a creature? – Michael Harvey Jan 2 at 21:23
  • @MichaelHarvey in the sense we talk about "animal rights" and "pet-friendly hotels" the word creatures is not commonly used in these instances. I toyed with the idea of "pets" but then opted for the simpler version. See this article and the number of times the word "animals" is mentioned. – Mari-Lou A Jan 2 at 21:26
  • What might be stilted in conversation might not be so in a statement about oneself, e.g. in an application for college or a resume. – Michael Harvey Jan 2 at 21:31

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