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What should be used,If a person is trying to have someone ,like date that person,be with that person at any cost,sort of like a psycho-lover?

He’s trying to get me/have me but I'm not really interested in him,he's a psycho and could go to any extent to be with me. (This is a fake context,though true in serials)

What should be used "have/get"?

If not what could be used instead?

Maybe,that person could actually kill someone or do anything to be that person. I know that sounds dramatic, but in this not so normal context,would get/have sound natural. The person might even be working out a plan/strategy.

(Serial inspired,not true)

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The relationship between "get" and "have" is so obvious to a native speaker that we may have trouble actually seeing it clearly. I don't know technical terms to explain it, but I would put it thus...

"To have" is essentially a verb describing state, like "to be". "To get" is a verb describing action, like "to become". Indeed, these may be considered two verbs that provide examples of the same relationship. If you are not rich, you may become rich, and then you are rich. If you do not have something, you may get it, and then you will have it.

You may come across a rather hackneyed phrase, where someone (usually a man) is so fixatedly attracted by someone else (usually a woman), he says "I must have her!" This indicates that he wishes to be in the state of possessing the woman (an awful way of thinking about relationships, but there you go). In order to enter that state, he has to "get her", and thus a foil in some work of fiction might then ask "well, what are you going to do to get her?"

People in real life rarely talk like that, though they might think like that.

Now, dialectal usage has the expression "get with". To get with someone is to become romantically involved in some way - the first example that comes to mind is the song No Scrubs by TLC, back in the 90s - "Wanna get with me with no money / Oh no, I don't want no scrub". I've not personally come across a similar usage that elides (misses out as implied) the "with", but it wouldn't surprise me. On the other hand, it could simply be reflecting a possessive attitude.

In any case, whether it reflects the idea of possession or the dialect "get with" expression, "get" represents a progressive action or a change in state, while "have" represents a steady state.

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"Get" is not necessarily incorrect, but it should be considered more informal compared to pursue, and you should probably use get with:

He is trying to get with me, but I am not interested in him.

"get me" wouldn't be incorrect grammatically, but it's a little awkward and ambiguous about the romantic sense. This is because while people say "Go get her!" to mean to pursue another person, it's rarely used to refer to yourself (in my experience). Instead, "Get me" is often used in the sense of "get me to":

He is trying to get me to do something.

"Pursue" can mean to pursue (1) someone romantically or in terms of romantic pursuits:

He is trying to pursue me, but I am not interested in him. / He is trying to pursue me romantically, but I am not interested in him.

Woo means "to sue for the affection of and usually marriage with", and similar words:

He is trying to woo me, but I am not interested in him.

Woo is more formal than pursue.

If you want to go more simple and straightforward, you can say "wants to date":

He wants to date me, but I am not interested in him.

This is also generally interpreted to be in the romantic sense:

He wants to be with me, but I am not interested in him.

These are more common in spoken English.

or even say he's interested and you're not:

He is interested in me romantically, but I am not interested in him.

Edit: I saw your edit to your question. You could add would do anything to to indicate desperation as in:

  • He would do anything to be with me, but I am not interested in him.

  • He would do anything to date me, but I am not interested in him.

  • But I read somewhere “If I liked someone,I’d try to get her. So is “get” right? – It's about English Jan 31 at 17:41
  • You know it's funny. I asked a question on Meta about the phenomenon of there being an answer, and the OP reposing the same question after an answer, and I was shot down. I was told my answer probably wasn't clear. The Meta "commenters" never bothered to imagine that the question as asked was unclear. – Lambie Jan 31 at 18:01
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You could say this:

He is trying to take me out on a date, but I'm not interested in him since he's not my type.

or

He is trying to ask me out on a date, but I'm not interested in him since he's not my type.

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Based on your scenario, you could say

He is trying to take me out on a date, but I'm not interested in him since I do not feel safe/secure around him.

  • I’ve edited the thread,added something I really want it to mean as this isn’t real and it’s just a situation. – It's about English Jan 31 at 17:30

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