There’s ... no shame in being able to cut yourself some slack, to extend yourself some love during those times at work when things don’t feel so great.

extend oneself: to do things that require effort.

But I can't understand the meaning of "extend yourself some love". Does it mean:

Try to show yourself some love.

So, could you please explain it to me?

The fuller text is here:

Psychologist Kristin Neff is renowned for coining the term “self-compassion.” In particular, Neff has asserted that the fi rst component of self-compassion is kindness, the ability to shrug off those times when we “let ourselves down,” when we don’t get to check off everything from our to do lists. The other two components of self-compassion are awareness and mindfulness. The goal is not to get more done but to understand that we are enough—and that our worth is not contingent on what we get done. [...] I’m not an idealist. I’m not saying every one should start “Om-ing,” devoting themselves solely to selfcompassion, and forgetting all about their to do lists. But I am saying that compassion, and selfcompassion, ought to move into the foreground as we talk about mindfulness—even in corporate mindfulness programs. There’s no shame in wanting to be productive at work. But there’s also no shame in being able to cut yourself some slack, to extend yourself some love during those times at work when things don’t feel so great.


The exact usage as cited (genuine advice, using a "reflexive imperative" verb form) isn't particularly common, and I wouldn't advise learners to make a habit of copying it.

Using extend with the sense give, make the offer of, proffer is a bit dated/formal, and I suspect you're most likely to encounter it today in "mock-formal, facetious" polite anger contexts such as...

Would you (at least) extend me the courtesy of (doing something which by any normal standards of decorum you should have done without me having to actually ask)?

...where the "mock-formal" style effectively implies I'm being "polite" - so why can't you do likewise?

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Yes, this is an idiomatic expression. It means "love yourself" or "show yourself love", basically. EDIT: maybe it's not really idiomatic. See definition 4 of "extend" here - this is essentially the meaning of "extend" in this text's context: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/extend

4a : to make the offer of : PROFFER

extending aid to the needy

extending their greetings

b : to make available

extending credit to customers

EDIT 2: actually I think the confusion is that "to extend oneself" is an idiomatic expression. The "oneself" in this context is not meant to be part of that expression - it is just the object of the extending (of love).

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