“Now. I’m an artisan,” he said. “Like a cat who makes – tables. I don’t like the word artist. Maybe I never did. I sure the fuck don’t know what it means. I’m a cat who works from his balls, with his hand. I know what it’s about now. I think I really do. Even if I go under. But I don’t think I will. Now.”
It's from James Baldwin's "If Beale Street Could Talk"
At the end of the paragraph, the character is saying "But I don’t think I will. Now." I didn't quite understand what he wouldn't do. Is it art that he wouldn't do? Or the character is just talking nonsense at that moment?