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Is this sentence grammatically correct?

Through the columns of your esteemed newspaper, I would like to extend a few suggestions to the government of Colorado with regards to enhancing the economy of the state and suggest a business proposition.

closed as off-topic by Jason Bassford, SamBC, Nathan Tuggy, Davo, Hellion Feb 18 at 15:59

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I think the answer is 'sort of', but it could be better.

The repetition of 'suggest' as a plural noun and a verb suggests something is a little amiss to me, whether just in terms of style, or out and out error.

So, if 'a few suggestions' is meant to include 'suggest a business proposition' as one of the suggestions, then I think there is a bit of a grammatical confusion.

If the sense of the sentence is rather:

  1. I would like to make some suggestions AND

  2. I would like to suggest a business model

then I think the sentence is technically grammatical. But that just goes to prove that being strictly within the rules of grammar does not mean a sentence is well-written. It is easy to miss the exact meaning of the sentence by getting lost in its sub-clauses.

It's a matter of style in other words. I would say a better way to express the sentiment would be:

Through the columns of your esteemed newspaper, I would like to extend a few suggestions to the government of Colorado to enhance the economy of the state. I would also like to make a business proposition.

The business proposition is strictly a separate (albeit related) matter from the suggestions to enhance the economy of the state, so deserves a separate sentence.

If you really want to suggest that the business proposition is one of the things that is being suggested, then a better way to say it would be:

Through the columns of your esteemed newspaper, I would like to extend a few suggestions to the government of Colorado to enhance the economy of the state, including a business proposition.

  • If I say: "Through the columns of your esteemed newspaper, I would like to extend a few suggestions to the government of Colorado with regards to enhancing the economy of the state and suggest a business proposition concerning the same." Would that be okay? – Soumee Feb 17 at 18:21
  • It would be, but I would still suggest you reduce the length of the sentence if possible. You are using a rather archaic style. So, I don't think phrases like 'through the columns of your esteemed newspaper' are required or advisable in the modern era. I would say something like "I would like to suggest some ideas by which Colorado can enhance its economy, as well as a business proposition." – fred2 Feb 17 at 18:27

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