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I am a game developer and I am trying to improve my english to increase the quality of the text in my games.

I will like to understand what is the "correct" way to write text. Specially the lengh of the phrases.

It is better to write short or long phrases? Usually the text is for descriptions and explanations. ( I mean por proper bussines english way. If I write a company for a collaboration, should I write short or long phrases)

I will give one example (but there is a lot of cases, I would like to know the "general rule")

**Short phrase:**
    Grand kavac is a strange monster. We don’t know if it is organic or what it is. We are sure that it is dangerous, so we should be careful.

**Long phrase:**
    Grand kavac is a strange monster, and we don’t know if it is organic or what it is, but we are sure that it is dangerous, so we should be careful.

I have heard lots of opinions( also about run-on sentences) and I don't have it clear

Thanks in advance

  • I think that this is not the proper exchange site to ask such question because it got nothing to do specifically with the English language, it's about user experience in computer games. Maybe this is the site that you need ux.stackexchange.com – RubioRic Mar 18 '19 at 10:50
  • I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it's not about the English language. I think that it belongs to ux.stackexchange.com – RubioRic Mar 18 '19 at 10:51
  • What is the in-house style? What type of game is it? If it is a dynamic game where the player does not want to spend a lot of time reading long sentences, you could make it even more clipped: "Grand kavac - dangerous monster" tells the player no less than the wordy sentence. – Weather Vane Mar 18 '19 at 10:55
  • I think it is about english language because I want to know in general what is the best way to write proper bussines english. I am not asking about the best way to "present users" the information about it. The game developer part is a context – D4rWiNS Mar 18 '19 at 11:29
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    As a general rule, the best-written prose will have a mixture of short and long sentences: short sentences for concise, self-contained ideas and long sentences for more complicated ideas. Variation in the length of the sentences also makes the prose less boring for the reader. – Canadian Yankee Mar 18 '19 at 13:23
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Both your "short sentences" version and your "one long sentence" version come across as reflecting poor literacy. Making that whole thing into two sentences would be a happy middle ground.

Several simple sentences in a row looks like you can't handle a more complex sentence. A sentence stringing together lots of simple clauses with commas looks like you don't know when to finish a sentence. You want to be somewhere in between.

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  • Thank you for the answer, So this is true for all bussines "writes"? If I want to write a company for a bussines colaboration, Should I write something in between too? – D4rWiNS Mar 18 '19 at 11:33
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    It really depends what you are saying. Any given text shouldn't have only short, simple sentences, ideally, but it can have some. Really long sentences with lots of commas should be avoided except in the rare circumstances in which they are unavoidable. Variation in length in longer documents is a good idea. – SamBC Mar 18 '19 at 15:35

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