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I'm a little bit confused about using the word 'not' with verbs in some situations. I'd been trying to find any specific information, but I've failed. I would like to receive any help with the following:
Is it possible to use 'not' like this?

You can either do something or not (to?) do something else?
You can either learn how to swim or simply not go with us.

I know, that it's possible to use 'not to' in the sentences like 'I want you not to kill me'. Is there any kind of sentence where the usage of 'not' + infinitive is possible (except the one I've asked about)?

Also, feel free to point me to any mistakes I've made so far.

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The two examples that you provided are correct (you do not need the "to" in parenthesis).

You could use "not to" thusly: "I am not to go to the attic," meaning that you are not allowed to go there. You could also use the "not to" construction as a noun phrase, e.g.: "Not to cause our patients harm is our sole intent."

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