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I am struggling to parse the sentence in bold (at the end) in the given paragraph. This last sentence is adding some context to an example given before in the paragraph (in italics). But for some reason, this last sentence in bold is very hard to read/follow. My problem is it sounds weird to say "In the example above, because the …" and then the part in parenthesis. Too much. Can someone tell me what is wrong with the construction of the last sentence? I don't know if two dependent clauses can be put one after another.

The labour market condition in a region where the unemployment rate skyrocketed from 7 to 11 percent is no better than the labour market condition in a region where the rate fell from 14 to 13 percent. In fact, Medow, Davis, and Hjartarson (2011) argue that employment prospects are certainly much worse in a low unemployment region with a deteriorating job market than in a high unemployment region with an improving job market. Unemployment rates by themselves do not reflect actual conditions in the regional labour markets. As such, differentiating access and benefits based on the regional unemployment rate can put some workers at a significant disadvantage. In the example above, because the unemployment rate is lower in the first region (11 percent compared to 13 percent), workers there need more hours of insurable work to qualify for EI than workers in the second region.

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Because we do not have the full context, in particular the meaning of the abbreviation 'EI', it is impossible to be sure what meaning is intended. But irrespective of the details, I do not see where the problem that you see in 'two dependent clauses' comes from. The sentence in bold has the following logical structure:'...because of A, something happens.' That is a perfectly straightforward grammatical construction.

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  • EI is employment insurance benefits. The sentence is written by me. I am having problem with last sentence because it has two dependent clauses, and I can't seem to omit one. the structure is like this "in the example above, because of A, something happens". The first two are both dependent and keeps the reader hanging. It is also hard to read.
    – AIQ
    Jul 12, 2019 at 21:39
  • I still don't see the problem. I understand it completely. Not hard to read at all. What are the two dependent clauses? Why is that a problem in itself? If you want to be completely clear you could, I suppose, put in another sentence that says something about EI being based on regional employment rates (if that is true). And then you could point out that the example you quote shows that regional employment rates are not a good guide to need. It depends on how perceptive you believe your readership to be.
    – JeremyC
    Jul 12, 2019 at 21:47
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I see nothing wrong with the grammar of the sentence in bold, nor do I find it hard to follow and understand. I don't see it as having tw dependent clauses, merely one complex dependent clause "because the unemployment rate is lower in the first region (11 percent compared to 13 percent)"

But I don't know of any rule prohibiting multiple dependent clauses in a single sentence.

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