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Do I need to use 'the' instead of 'a' here? Are the punctuation marks correct?

She gave him a reason. A reason, that was sufficient to burst a passion inside him so that he could reveal all his feelings.

I was searching for some essay conclusions examples on the Internet and found the following:

My attitudes have greatly shaped after this study. I have realized the ways meat impact our life and health. Meatless meals might improve the health conditions of patients suffering from various disorders, and the observed study proves it.

The source: https://pro-essay-writer.com/blog/essay-conclusion-examples

I wanted to use the first phrase in my own essay. I wonder if it is correct or not. Personally, I find it a bit weird. But maybe it is not so?

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If I am reading the intent of the sentence correctly, I would not put that comma between reason and that. I would put one between him and so and drop the that between so and he, but you don't necessarily have to.

Paying no regards to stylistic choice, you could use:

  • She gave him a reason. A reason that was sufficient to burst a passion inside him, so he could reveal all his feelings.
  • She gave him a reason. The reason was sufficient to burst a passion inside him, so he could reveal all his feelings.
  • She gave him a reason. That reason was sufficient to burst a passion inside him, so he could reveal all his feelings.
  • She gave him a reason that was sufficient to burst a passion inside him, so he could reveal all his feelings.

With regards to your second phrase, I agree that it feels weird. Some alternatives that feel more natural to me—depending on what you actually want to say—are:

  • My attitudes have been greatly [shaped|formed|defined] by this study
  • My attitudes have been greatly [changed|redefined] by this study
  • My attitudes have greatly changed [as a result of|since reading] this study
  • This study has greatly [shaped|formed|informed|defined] my attitudes.

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