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... The positive charges of these calcium ions in turn alter the electrical state of the channel protein itself, in this way altering the voltage level required to open the sodium gate. (Guyton and Hall Textbook of Physiology)

Can I rewrite the sentence as in:

... The positive charges of these calcium ions in turn alter the electrical state of the channel protein itself, altering the voltage level required to open the sodium gate in this way.

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    The former sounds much better because in this way is tied to the part of the sentence before the comma; therefore the delay imposed by interpolating the rest of the sentence would hinder readability, in my opinion.
    – user3395
    Aug 19, 2019 at 13:33
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    I agree. Here's my suggestion "... in turn alter the electrical state of the channel protein itself, thus altering the voltage level required to open the sodium gate." Jun 13, 2020 at 20:53
  • @chaslyfromUK In fact, newer editions of Guyton's Physiology use that exact phrasing: books.google.de/…
    – Lucky
    Jun 13, 2020 at 23:11

1 Answer 1

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No, you cannot rewrite the sentence in that way, because an adverb like in this way belongs most naturally to the nearest verb; your change would move it from altering to open.

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