The word 'oblige' is tricky to me

Question

The word 'oblige' is tricky to me.

1. My dictionary says "You will oblige me by taking them" but here I worry that this is another example influenced very much by Japanese culture.. Do you say something like this when you give a thanking present to someone?

2. I found a sentence in a native dictionary, "He obliged her with a willing attitude", but is it right to think that at least the writer thinks he was nice to her to get something from her in return?

Answer 1

"You will oblige me by taking them" is extremely formal, and much more typical of the Victorian era than the modern one. You might still hear someone in the British royalty say something like this.

Your second sentence is much more common. To oblige someone is to do them a favor, not to put them under obligation to do a favor in return. So no, I don't think that the writer was trying to imply getting something in return. ("Put her under obligation" would very much mean that she owed something in return.)

If you look at old Western movies, you'll see cowboys touch their hats and say "Much obliged." That's a way of saying thank you, that still persists to some degree in places like Texas and Arizona. There isn't any sense that the person saying that is under an obligation (beyond that of human obligation to a neighbor) to return the favor, even though that is the essential meaning of the word.

Answer 2

Looking at the entries in Collins' UK and US, the definitions are fairly explanatory:

1. to compel by moral, legal, or physical force; constrain
2. to make indebted for a favor or kindness done; do a favor for
3. to do a favor or service

As for your examples:

1. I'm not sure I've ever heard that before, but you could rephrase (with sense 3) as:

   You will do me a favour by taking them

   But it's not idiomatic in my variant of English (Australian; Sydney)

2. This is sense 1:

   He compelled her with a willing attitude.

   As for the intention of his being nice to her, I'm not sure I can comment on what the writer thought, but it wouldn't be too much of a stretch - people are nice to each other all the time and, at least some of the time, I'm sure it's to get something in return.