I'm learning restaurant English. I tend to use "You can" but my English teacher always corrects me to use "Could you". She is telling me "You don't want your server to be angry".
I think if I say "You can give me a cup of water", "You can give me the check", and the server does get angry, and gives me bad service, I can give him less tip because of the bad service.
Is it OK to use "You can" rather than "Could you"?
You can is giving permission. If that is the context - they have asked permission for something - it is fine (though you may is regarded as more polite).
But when you are requesting something, you can is very condescending. It is something you say to a subordinate or servant, not to an independent person providing a service.
- Server: Are you ready to order?
a. Client: Yes. Can you give me hamburger and chips, please?
b. Client: Yes. You can give me hamburger and chips (NO)
1 b. To tell someone to give you something, is considered rude and very bad mannered when ordering food or beverages in an establishment.
Server: Are you ready to order?
Client: Yes. Could/may I have hamburger and chips, please?Server: Are you ready to order?
Client: Yes, I'll have the hamburger and chips. Thank you.Server: Is madam/sir ready to order?
Client: I'd like the Steak-frites, medium rare, if that's not too much trouble
All four ways of ordering are acceptable, and polite if the speaker adds a "Thank you", a "please" or its equivalent. But examples 2 and 3 are the most common and polite ways to order food sitting at a restaurant table. The speaker is making a request, and requests are like questions, they are made by inverting the auxiliary or modal verb with the subject.
In a busy fast food restaurant, the client needn't use any of the modal verbs: e.g. can, could, will, would and limit him or herself to saying:
"Double cheeseburger, small fries, a regular (size) coke, and apple pie, please."
This answer is written from my perspective as an American.
I think that usually, saying "you can" is likely to sound rude. If you say "You can get me the check," it may sound like you're sarcastically saying, "I want the check, but since you haven't given me the check, you must have been unaware of the fact that you can get me the check."
On the other hand, it may sound like you're giving the server permission to give you the check. This is also bad, because the server doesn't need your permission to give you the check, and it's impolite to imply that they do need your permission.
I can't think of any time that I would recommend saying "you can" to a server. Even when I'm telling a server that they can keep the change as a tip, I say, "Keep the change, please."
A good rule of thumb is that if you're making any kind of request in the United States, you should always phrase it as a question.
As others have pointed out, the phrasing absolutely will come across as extremely rude and a bit non sequitur.
More importantly, you should never deduct from a server's tip for bad service in the United States. In the US servers are not paid minimum wage. They only make above minimum wage as a result of tips. In any case, deducting from the tip often won't have the desired effect since, in many restaurants, servers share tips.
Tipping is a bad custom with many unpleasant effects, but that's how it is in the US. If you'd like to protest it, join a service worker picket line. But under no circumstances should you deprive someone of their already meager wages because they hurt your feelings, especially if they hurt your feelings as a response to your insistence on using a rude phrase despite advice from your teacher to the contrary.
All the answers here are excellent. By now, you should have figured out that "you can" is a direct order, which is considered rude, and requests are polite (as they are in many other countries). So let me just add as a cultural studies scholar -- in cities where they're used to international visitors, most servers will make allowances, simply assuming you're not very proficient in English or in acquiring other cultures' polite behavior. So, you can make it a command -- it's not that insulting if you make your tone friendly -- but at the risk of being looked down on by people who understand cultural differences. Having power over the tip does not give automatic respect here. Your English teacher does deserve respect, however, because she knows more than you do, and is trying to help.
“Yes, please.” Then proceed with your order is how I choose to answer “Can I get you anything?” Or “Are you ready to order?”
I wouldn’t use “You can” immediately following the question. It comes across demanding or rude, as previously mentioned.
“Could you” is definitely the most common way to ask for service from the waiter. As other answers have mentioned, “may you” is up a notch in the politeness level.
However, this doesn’t mean you cannot use “you can” to tell a waiter to do something.
If you encounter a waiter who gives bad service on his/her part, the next time he/she says “Can I get you anything else?”, saying “you can (do something)” indicates that you are unhappy with the service, and that he/she should do something ASAP to resolve the issue.
