deathday (noun): the day of a person's death or its anniversary
In some Asian countries, every year a family often holds a party for its members and guests to celebrate / memorize the deathday of one of its member (normally a grandparent).
On the deathday, the family members and the guests will pray to the dead, then they will eat and drink. Guests may bring some fruits as gifts when they go to the party.
is it idiomatic to say "She is going to the deathday party"?
Note: they do no go to the tomb to pray like in some Western countries, They hold the party at home. There is an altar with the picture of the dead. The guests will stand in front of the altar and pray.
They do not cry or are sad at the party. They do not dance, but just enjoy the meal and may drink a lot. They may or may not talk with each other about the dead's past. They can talk about any topics (jobs, social events, etc) they want. If the topics are funny enough, they can laugh if they want to and that is not considered as a rude thing.
In Asia, the "deathday party" is just exactly the "birthday party" version in Western countries. It is held every year. The child must hold this kind of party if his / her parent passed away. "Deathday party" is much more popular than "birthday party". I have about 100 relatives and I seldom heard any of them hold their birthday parties, except for some small children. But "deathday party" is the must-have one, if you don't hold it, people will think that you are very disloyal child & that is very very bad & rude.
A wake is an occasion before or after a funeral, I am not sure if it is held yearly.