Both in my native tongue (Hungarian) and in my originally first foreign language (German) it is common in formal texts to use complex noun phrases instead of multiple separate clauses. At least this is my experience, but it might be based on older texts or occasional legal documents, which have their own language style. I am engineer by trade with no linguistic training since grammar/high school.
I am looking for some input regarding how correct the sentences below feel and how formal they sound. I would also be grateful for any good guidelines regarding formal writing. All I have found listed is either way too trivial or too abstract. Despite my initial dedication, I was not able to get a good grip on the explanations.
I am really unsure how I should approach editing my writing for publication. The strict length restriction and the aim to be concise pushes me towards more complex noun phrases; on the other hand, this structure is more complex and needs more effort to understand. The texts I write are intended for scientific publications; therefore, I should aim for more formal language instead of informal, everyday parlance.
- The more than 10% difference between the planned and the final overall costs is attributed to in the meanwhile increased labour related expenses.
- The difference between the planned and the final overall costs are more than 10% and it is attributed to the labour related expenses, which has increased in the meantime.