Woman: Do you have any pets?

Man: Yes. I have a dog named Burt.

Woman: A dog? Really? I love dogs.

Man: I was thinking/wondering, if you were interested, you could come over to dinner Friday. Then you could meet him.

Woman: I would love to.

  • In the man's second statement, is one of "I was thinking" and "I was wondering" more appropriate to use here if it's a sudden idea the man gets that he invites her over?

  • Also, is it okay to insert "if you were interested" as I have to tell that he's far from sure if she would want to come over so he's asking a little carefully?

  • "I was wondering" is probably more idiomatic. It's what I would more expect to hear. Commented Jun 9, 2020 at 19:39

1 Answer 1


Both of the the additions to the man's question are indicators of hesitation. (I'm not using a grammar term here, but just saying how the phrases strike me.)

The man is asking the woman, whom he may not have met before, for a dinner date at his residence, which is a bold thing to do, and which could sound aggressive. By inserting "I was thinking/wondering...", he's indicating hesitation (which he may or may not be feeling).
The phrase "if you were interested", as you noted, means he's being careful not to assume too much, and that's another indicator of hesitation.

He's engaging in bold behavior, and is acting hesitant and non-assuming to tone down his boldness.

  • 1
    It's a bit sudden, isn't it? She asks if he has any pets, and he asks her to his house 'to meet his dog'. Commented Jun 10, 2020 at 17:27

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