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I'm writing an essay and trying to determine an apt topic sentence for one of my paragraphs. However, it sounds awful and awkward:

"Through their diction, the authors further exemplify the importance of considering what objects represent instead of how they look. "

Earlier in the essay I referred to this point as:

  • "...the two authors create a platform from which to assert the importance of internal, instead of monetary, worth" and
  • "...both offer a glimpse into the lives of two lower-class families, urge against an obsession with monetary value, and demonstrate the importance of family." (thesis)

I thought those sounded better, but I want to change the phrasing so it doesn't look like the paragraph's topic sentence is copied and pasted from earlier.

I don't know if its a stretch posting here, but I'd appreciate some help :)

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One thing you can do is to qualify the word 'diction' (which simply means words or word choices; or enunciation of course). Diction can be positively charged; negatively charged; or carry negative or positive connotations; diction can be archaic; provocative, etc. What sort of diction are these authors using? All this sentence says is the authors are using words... so you might clarify the quality of their words; e.g. "Through their positively charged diction..." Then you need to give specific examples... what words exactly carry positive (or negative) connotations; or whatever point it is you are trying to make.

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A couple of suggestions for you:

Option 1 - simplifying the statement

"The authors multiple examples provide further evidence of the importance of considering what objects represent instead of how they look."

Option 2 - swapping out dictation and exemplify

"Throughout their study/report, the authors provide ample evidence on the importance of considering what objects represent instead of how they look."

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