I wrote this:

The man does a couple of breathing exercises to calm himself before take-off. The woman seated next to him gives him a look.

Man: Sorry. I'm just a little nervous about flying.

The woman offers no sympathy. The plane starts moving.

Is the sentence in bold okay and understood? If not what else could I write to say that she couldn't care less and that she's annoyed with him?

  • 1
    It is understood. You could also write "She looks away as the plane starts moving." – Weather Vane Jul 12 at 10:56

The verb tense is a bit odd here. And you really need to add something else if you are going to write at all well here.

Man: Sorry... flying. Woman: Shakes her head and turns back to her magazine.

Offering no sympathy is in itself a non-thing. That phrase usually is followed with a 'but' or something else to indicate what she did do.

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