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Let's say you received an email 3 days ago and you are just now responding to it. So here, which of the following would you say:

  1. I'm sorry I haven't responded to the mail for three days.

  2. I'm sorry I haven't responded to the mail in three days.

And what's the difference in meaning between the two sentences here?

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Neither sound quite right to me.

What I'd say is:

I'm sorry it's been three days and I haven't responded (to your email).

If you're responding directly to the email then "to your email" would be optional.

The two phrases you propose are relatively interchangeable, though "for" is more general. For example, it could also be used in a phrase such as:

He's been quiet for three days.

"For" seems to simply describe conditions over the period, whereas "in" anticipates an event.

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