This line from The Edge of Seventeen doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Video clip
I don't wanna take up a ton of your time... but I'm gonna kill myself. I just thought that someone should know. I don't know how this works. I'm probably gonna jump off an overpass in front of a semi or a u-haul, not a bus, I'm not gonna be a dick and make people watch. But it has to be big, it's gotta be so big that it just – done! – kills me. Lights out. 'Cause if it just maims me and I'm like well, how's that good for anyone? Then I gotta find a nurse to smother me. How am I gonna get across "smothering" if I'm... We don't need to get caught up in the minutia, I just thought that an adult... you should know.
I thought "get across" might have something to do with death, analogous to "cross over". But the line still doesn't make sense. "Get across doing something" does not appear to be idiomatic as far as I know and have done my due research diligence. What does it mean? "How am I going to die from smothering?" doesn't seem to make sense with the face.