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I find it difficult to know what to say.

Why not say:

I find it difficult to know what was said.

I can not understand to say in the first sentence.

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  • In a conversation the first means I understand it but don't know how to reply; the second means I don't understand it.
    – Peter
    Aug 27, 2020 at 9:32

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"I find it difficult to know what to say" means "I do not know what I should say (in the present or future)"

Why not say:* I find it difficult to know what was said.*?

Because this means "I do not know what one or more other people said (in the past)"

When discussing knowledge, or its lack, using interrogative words (what, where, when, who, etc) as relative pronouns, we use the infinitive form of a verb:

I don't know what to say.

Do you know where to go?

He knows what to do.

We don't know who to ask.

You don't know when to stop.

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